I usually don't ask for a lot in life....ok,
maybe I do, but still, there are some things that in my opinion are
super simple but always drag out and take too long to either materialise
or just come to a conclusion. Yes, its sad that my first post is about
men but do you blame me, I'm a girl so, over kahawa tonight, the topic up for discussion is this type of man.
Lets
not kid ourselves girls, to some extent, we like dragging out certain
things in life, especially when they have to do with a man. Lets take a
hypothetical example; boy likes girl, girl likes boy, but girl also
likes another boy who in her opinion, makes much more sense to be in a
relationship with than first boy. So girl makes a decision and tells
first boy that she cant be with him because of second boy but that they
can still remain friends. First boy reluctantly agrees and move on with
his life but still loves girl and holds her dear to his heart. First boy
is very protective over girl and constantly checks up on girl just to
make sure she's doing good. They usually do the friend thing and go out
to coffee dates just to catch up, go out for lunch bla bla bla, we are all aware of the series of events.
Anyhow,
later on, girl breaks up with second boy, much to the relief of many of
girls friends and secretly, hers as well. Lets pause her for a bit;
have you ever been in a relationship then years later, after you are no
longer in the relationship, you ask yourself, 'what on earth was I going
through then?' and just cant help but laugh about the whole thing?
Anyhow, we don't regret these relationships, they have actually helped
us grow. OK, back to our hypothetical scenario, so, where was I? Oh,
yes, so during this time, as stated before, boy has moved on with his
love life and got a girlfriend, who is actually a nice person, the ones
that come in between something that should have been always are, and the
two really like each other. So now, girl has to be supportive of boys
relationship even though she secretly feels that she made such a massive
mistake.
Years later, during one of those inexplicable
weak moments girls always have, she is with boy just looking back into
past memories when...well, they sleep together.Aat first its weird but
then later on, they agree to try and see if they can be 'friends with
benefits'.
Pause yet again; do you see the problem already arising? you do? OK, let us move on....
So,
they keep secretly sleeping together for a while while boy is in a
relationship with girlfriend who he genuinely likes, and they have a
blast. Now now now, if any guys are reading this I'm sure the thought
they have is 'right on dude! score!' But if you are a girl reading this
then I'm sure the thought in your head is 'what is he thinking? He has a
girl who loves him and is committed to him and he's cheating.What kinda
dude is this?' Am I right?
But this is what boy and girl
are thinking, and actually discuss it, to try and 'save their
friendship'; overall, it is cheating in the traditional sense but boy
actually likes girl, like really really likes girl, without the whole
aspect of 'benefits'added... and girl really really likes boy, enough to
be genuinely happy for him and girlfriend, despite current state of
affairs. Now many of you may be thinking, this is the point when all the
bulls**t checks in, right? But stay with me, there's more, then you'll
make up your mind at the end whether or not all this is complete bull
and girl should just get a grip, or whatever comes as otherwise. They
talk about if things had worked out back way back when, then they'd be
such a strong and happy couple but boy cannot simply get rid of
girlfriend because he has real feelings for this woman. Which is in some
twisted sense, respected by girl and she would not want boy to break up
with girlfriend for her (this is for the girls: we all know that deep
deep deep down in her heart, girl really wants to make girlfriend
disappear so that she can have her time with boy but girl will never
admit to this, even to herself.)
Both of them have grown super close and do not want to stop
sleeping together and they do not want to stop being friends. On the
contrary, strange as it may sound, their platonic friendship actually
grows stronger and they can even talk about each others significant
others with each other and give each other constructive criticism and
advice on how to deal with issues when they arise. So they keep on
keeping on.
Almost done.... months later, boy and girlfriend break up. Girl
is sad. Now don't get me wrong, girl is not sad that boy and girlfriend
broke up, rather, that boy is going through a hard time. Now, girl
doesn't do the Hollywood nonsense and goes to comfort boy and in the
midst of the comfort, falls madly and deeply in love with boy, oh no,
girl keeps away from boy because she knows that the Hollywood scenario
could very easily become a reality. She offers support from a distance. Points to girl right?
During
their friendship, like I said, boy has been very protective over girl
and wants the best for her. They grew very close and sometimes, this was
obvious to certain people, such as girl's best friend. It seems that
girl and boy would work: girl is very headstrong but like ALL girls, yes
girls, even the most fierce feminist falls within this category, she is
vulnerable and boy protects this with ferociously.Bboy drives girl up
the wall when he is a bit too protective and keeps questing some of her
decisions but he never backs down from a fight with girl. He is not
afraid to tell her what he thinks and feels even if she gets annoyed,
which she often does, but he knows how to handle her and argue with her
without offending her. This goes both ways, when he feels that girl is
not necessarily making the wisest of decisions, and when he feels that
she needs to know just how much she means to him * insert awww
moment here*. A quality which i must say, she is quite addicted to in
boy. But at least boy knows to let her win 90% of the fights they have.
(guys, are you paying attention right here?)
So, now comes the problem. Girl is tired of dating guys who are
good. She wants a guy who is great and she is looking for a potential
life partner. Boy is a very very very strong contender but all he has
been doing is everything other than actually deciding to ask girl to be
in a relationship with him. Its not that girl is waiting for this to
happen, although it would be really nice if it did, but she is
comfortable with the question never coming up. Which would mean that
focus would then shift to the other very very very strong contenders.
But when girl and boy hang out, everything just feels so right, they
look really good together, they can handle each other when they are at
their worst, because neither is afraid to argue with the other, they
know that they will argue it out and make their points then soon
thereafter, get back together that much stronger. It only makes sense
right?
So why then is there that 'wrong' that sneaks up behind girl when she asks herself this question? What is it?
..........hypothetically speaking of course!
W.
